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In other words, you need to earn love (or at least lust).

Sadly, no mom, dad or professor teaches us about the power of the well-placed compliment (or put-down), giving attention but not too much attention, being caring without being needy.

Now you could be absolutely stunning (in which case you're both smart AND pretty and everyone hates you except for me -- call me, like, immediately), but your identity is still bound up in being The Smart One.

So maybe you dress frumpy and don't pay a lot of attention to your appearance.

Dating is at best another extracurricular, number six or number seven down the list, somewhere between Model UN and intramural badminton.

I've been co-hosting young alumni events for name-brand schools for long enough to know that these kids come out a little lopsided (which sounds so much better than "socially awkward," don't you think? All they need is a little tune up, or a little dating textbook like The Tao of Dating for Women or The Tao of Dating for Men, to get them going -- plus a little practice.

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Read more Dating Intelligent People just wrote to inform us of a new article they wrote debunking an author's claims that smart men fit a characteristic stereotype. Dale: "Despite dating over 100 men in three years before finding her Mr. Read more FROM THE BOROWITZ REPORT in the New Yorker MENLO PARK, CA (The Borowitz Report)—One day after Google outbid Facebook for a manufacturer of solar-powered drones, Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg served warning that h… S., and the world for superior mates, why not just come to Love For Wits?

It's because they've been going at it the wrong way. For most of their lives, smart people inhabit a seemingly-meritocratic universe: If they work hard, they get good results (or, in the case of really smart folks, even if they don't work hard, they still get good results).

Good results mean kudos, strokes, positive reinforcement, respect from peers, love from parents.

The writing of the books was precipitated by the endemic dating woes on the Harvard campus as I observed them as an advisor and, earlier, indulged in them as a student.

Those kids graduate and pretty much continue to have the same dating woes -- only now with fewer single people around who happen to live in the same building and share meals with them every day.

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